Self Care as A New Parent

For many new parents, becoming a mom (and dad) can be the greatest gift. Constantly in awe - every coo, every laugh - even every poop! No other job will ever be more rewarding than becoming a new parent. But like any job, it has its challenges. Many unexpected things arise, and some preparations may fall short. People share experiences, but much is unique. No two babies or moms are identical. Yet, the love and support from the mom tribe are cherished!

With all of that being said, it's normal to reach out to our families and friends for guidance and what to expect when we're expecting. You may have some people giving you certain suggestions that you can make work for you, and you may sometimes be taken aback by another's approach or suggestions for your baby.   The important thing to remember is: this is your baby, and whatever you and your partner decides is best for your baby is ultimately what is best for your baby.

A lot of times we get so wrapped up in what is best for our babies - what that looks like and how we achieve it, that we are often putting our own wellness on the backburner.  Truth be told, I think that will be a forever balancing act now that we are parents, but I'm confident it's one we can master! In fact, it's so important to try our best to master this because we need to remember self-care is critical to our wellbeing and for our family's as well.   I’m sure you've seen that quote floating on instagram somewhere, "Self-care is not selfish."  A hard truth for some, but so very important to remember.  We want our children to be given grace and kindness as they learn, grow, and go through life - no matter their age.  We should be extending that same grace and kindness to ourselves.

Before we become new parents, we were a whole separate individual with wants, needs, hobbies, etc.  And while "mama" is truly the best role for many, it shouldn’t be your whole identity and that's OKAY. So many of new parents feel that once society deems you a mom, that's all you are and we have to take on not only the mental load, but the social responsibility of such - and if we miss our old selves or yearn for some "me time", it feels wrong or frowned upon.  Don't fall into this trap!  We're human, we need to be able to sustain ourselves the same way anyone else does - parent or not.  It's okay if you want time away from your baby, your partner, your family, etc.  It's okay if you need to return to yourself once in a while to recharge and regain your strength to handle the wants and needs of your baby.

Another great support that can help on your postpartum journey was a mom support group.  At Casa Mama we have many group education classes and mom support circles to help build a connection. Many new parents have made such great friends through this support system.  What starts as strangers connecting, turns into Instagram friends from all over the country, sending invitations for their baby's first birthday parties to one another.  It's amazing.

We can't tell you, as a parent, how to take care of yourself.  Taking care of ourselves looks different to everyone.  If you can get back to certain hobbies you enjoyed before the busyness of your baby then I really suggest doing your best to set aside time for yourself and do it.   For someone who needs a creative outlet, sign yourself up for a pottery lesson, art lesson or something that interests you.  It's nice to have that break once a week. 

So how do you take care of yourself as a new parent?  Return to yourself in ways that you find joy. Connect with other moms in your area, or all over the globe!  Take up a new hobby like pottery class or something you've been interested in but talked yourself out of trying.  Catch up on sleep if you can.  Have your partner take over the bedtime routine once in a while. Truly invest in yourself in ways that are attainable for you, so you can manage your weekly routine and stick with it.  They don't need to be huge changes that alter your every day.  It's often the little things we do each day that add up to meaning the most.  

Water yourselves, mamas. Plant the seeds you want in your garden and nurture them.

Your babies will benefit, too, and you'll both grow stronger because of it.